‘Will’ – Click to listen…

Today I am thinking about music. Music has always been a big part of my life, an inspiration, and something that I know that I never do enough of. I have been playing and writing music since I was about fifteen or sixteen and now in my ripe old age I still harbour ambitions of being an international rock star…

I have included some music that I wrote about 6 or 7 years ago, which I rediscovered recently. Maybe it might be music to write a masterpiece to? I wrote it for a school production of Phillip Pullman’s ‘Northern Lights’ (or ‘The Golden Compass’ as it is known in the States). This was an amazing performance by children, all the animals were puppets, and Pullman himself even showed up to see it. Never got to find out what he thought…

Last Saturday I did one of my rare solo gigs in a pub nearby, and despite only about 4 and a half minutes rehearsal, I somehow managed to pull it off. Yes there was the odd mistake and, at the time, I felt hot, disappointed and frustrated because people didn’t seem to be listening. I felt a bit like a fraud; like a performing monkey on a rainy day. People notice the monkey but aren’t throwing coins as they hurry past under big black umbrellas.

Of course, in retrospect, this was a foolish feeling. But then I am often foolish and rash, a trait I like because it keeps me in touch with my younger self; that self that is still inside me reminding me to have fun. The younger self that yearned to be a rock star. Imagine doing what you truly love and getting paid for it? That self never went away, even though when you are young, you are constantly told you will grow out of it. I wonder if my mother still thinks I will ‘grow out’ of playing the guitar?

The gig, in reality, was actually a success. I got applause and someone even told me I have an amazing voice (they must have been drunk!). The point is that I wrote those songs and some people liked them. Just like I write stories and some people like them (others don’t of course, you should see my reviews on Barnes and Noble!).

I am not posting this to boast, but it’s often hard to feel proud of ones creations. We are precious about them because we nurture them like children, so criticism and indifference stings. But always remember that there is always that one person, sitting in the corner at the back of the pub, unnoticed beyond the rowdiness of the crowd, who is listening intently and loves what you do. You create for them…

What do you think?

This post was inspired by two people. First the lovely Nikki McCormack – known as @neyska on twitter; she kindly requested to hear some music by me. Check her blog here: Neyska. The second inspiration was Derek Flynn, who always posts fun music he makes on his blog on a Monday, so I thought I would give it a try! Check Derek on twitter – @derekf03 and his ranting blog here – Rants etc. Thanks to those guys! As always all comments gratefully received!

The Performing Monkey?

© 2011 Simon Poore